19 May 2007

roller coasters

I've never been a roller coaster fan. I even hate the kiddie roller coasters, having the odd sensation it's about to come off the tracks--it does not entertain or thrill me! I just get horribly tense. The summer after I got married, my husband and a young friend of mine convinced me to get on a massive ride that locked you into a seat but kept your feet dangling above the ground and went upside-down. Fast. I could barely get off the thing and shook for half an hour, hardly able to walk. Literally. N E V E R A G A I N. Understand?

The roller coaster of pregnancy leaves me emotional versus shaking. And, man, I'd forgotten how easily those darn tears can surface. The first week or so, I thought, "Hey, this pregnancy won't be so bad." Uh, I spoke too soon.

I was at Super Target (practically my second home) and kept seeing little people--the kind under one year old and some under two. I wanted to stare, I wanted to coo and I wanted to cry...my own big kids are way, way past that baby-ness. And I wanted to cry because I was going to have that priveledge again. I probably could have just sat down and leaked tears for no real reason, the truth be told.

I locked my keys in the van after an extra long day (read more about it below). Fortunately, my parents were with me and have AAA (I'm thinking I should get it). I was hiding the keys in the back area for my dad who was still in Target with Little B, and Mom and I were walking next door to Kohl's with Miss C; I deliberately unlocked the back with the key AFTER locking all the other doors electronically. But, apparently, the back only agrees with what the electronic system says and overrode my decision (it often is unlocked, but must be when the rest of the doors are)! The wait for the 4 minute operation to get into my car took well over an hour and a half--right through dinner time! (But see, God provided here, because a little earlier, my mom who'd not had lunch, was hungry and I stopped to get her some scrumptious Chinese food which my kids liberally shared with her--they didn't even notice they missed dinner time!!). Again, I was just barely keeping from being weepy. I know it was a stressful thing, but it really wasn't stressful once I stopped kicking myself for the mistake. The kids were great, the weather was beautiful, I took the stolen opportunity for a decaf latte (my favorite) and it just wasn't a big deal over all. But I was so stinkin' emotional about it! Argh. And I was soooo tired.

And the big nasty coaster I was on:
I went to field day yesterday for my son. I took Miss C along (who thought she should try every single event and was very upset at being denied the fun). There were several breaks in the when the kids would go back to the classroom for water or snacks. We trooped along, usually the stroller holding the diaper bag and purse since my daughter preferred holding hands with Little B or his classmates (they adore her, boys and girls alike). She would sit next to her big brother at his table, proud as could be. As we lined up to go back outside on one particular trip, she was quite suddenly missing. I mean, not anywhere in my sight. Only half the class was out the door, and the boy she typically held hands with was already out, as well as the teacher's daughter (same age, same doting). I worked the stroller down the line of kindergarteners and searched for Miss C. With every second, my eyes scanned faster and the panic began to set in as we reached the outside with no sign of her. The teacher's daughter was in the midst of the class, but mine was not. I rushed back in, heart racing, and found her in the arms of a teacher, with a kind janitor standing along side. Apparently Miss C thought she'd try out Limbo, diagonally across the hall from the classroom. She'd mixed right in with another class headed that way and was probably startled not to find me with them. I started to cry. I mean, involuntary, cannot stop crying and won't let go of my little girl. I was so, so glad she was in a school and one I trust. Fortunately, my parents arrived a few minute later and made keeping up with her three times easier.

I crawled into bed and fell soundly asleep for a good, long night. It was lovely. I could probably cry I slept so well. ha!

1 comment:

Mommy-loguer said...

Oh I remember being so emotional too! Hey, at least you have an excuse now....(;

I was reading a Karen Kingsbury book the other night (Ever After -- SO GOOD!). My hubs walked in, i was crying. He stopped, turned to go back out of the room and asked if i was pregnant. Ha! Men. They just don't get it! He doesn't understand either that a book is just like a movie! Only better (:

Love hearing about your new pregnancy and praying for you!!