14 December 2005

moment of ambience

I am sitting still for a few minutes. I mean really sitting in peace. Little B is at school, Miss C is napping, the phone is off the hook (my cell is on, but only in case someone is having an emergency). My lights are off with only a string of them across my fireplace glowing, and I have 13 candles lit. No music, but I may put something quiet on in a bit. Hard to say. I am savoring the quiet, the lack of questions, the calm of a teething baby, not being asked to play a game or fix a snack, not feeling hungry enough to prepare my own lunch yet. Just sitting. Sometimes dwelling thoughfully on my Heavenly Father, sometimes allowing dust to settle around my thoughts rather than contemplate anything at all.

I did this a few days ago, too. That day, I refused to even use my computer...and I will put it down shortly once more.

Life has been too fast-paced recently, and I have been in need of some quiet. I have recently been too introspective, overly self-critical and mired in the whirlwind the holildays bring. I survived both office parties quite successfully, in spite of wearing pantyhose to one (a rare concession, and I came really close to taking them off halfway through...only the super cold night convinced me I'd regret it). I have also been dealing with issues I prefer to leave on the shelf usually, and of course they came landsliding all at once. What other way is there, right?

And so, I will return again, I have not gotten lost in the real world just yet, but for now, I must go absorb the quiet that is left in my day, savoring the ambience that temporarily surrounds me.