28 June 2005

blessings abound

I took Miss C to her therapy yesterday. At our last visit, Jeff was so pleased with her progress that he was comfortable waiting a month to see her again...which was thrilling for us, of course.

When we arrived, as usual, I shared with him about the progress we've seen this past month...she is now rolling over (going front to back, on top of the left arm, but whichever way did not matter), she also grabs her toes with both hands, sometimes using her left exclusively (I worked with her on this...and watched for it specifically). And, the big one, was on Sunday...while laying between her side and back (nursing, which I did not expound on to Jeff), she repeatedly raised her left hand to scratch to top of her head (in light of this accomplishment, I had to see the many scratch marks as a hidden blessing). Raising her arm all the way is a huge, huge step. It's one of the biggest things they watch for.

Needless to say, all of this was good news...within the first twenty minutes as we chatted and he worked with my sweet baby girl, I noticed he spent far less time on each 'exercise' than usual. Suddenly, the conversation took a turn. He began speaking like our hour was up...there was essentially nothing that needed work! Indeed, he said she could not be picked out of a crowd for having a brachial plexus injury...it's more than just 'age appropriate' now, I guess. She's really, really healing...so why am I surprised at God's abundance? We were on our way out the door in half the usual time. Jeff will still see her a little more this year, but he's spreading it out over the stages of learning to sit and crawl.

Miss C will still have a 6 month follow up with the surgeons and specialists, and we will see Jeff just before that, then if things are still going well, it may be the end of the year before we go back! I can still feel a bit of weakness in her arm, but it continues to gain strength weekly. Too, her mornings are sometimes a bit slower until she gets it 'warmed up'...but even that is less apparent as time goes by.

My heart is so in awe and full of praise to my God...I know our daughter could just as easily have needed surgery. But, He chose to continue her healing. His blessings abound.

23 June 2005


Tonight, I laid my head upon Miss C's chest and listened to her heartbeat. A sound I had not heard since she was still in my womb. It was just as breathtaking as it was a year ago with the doppler. Perhaps even more so, hearing the tiny organ pumping so diligently. Incredible. She has felt very real to me all along. But at that moment, she was so alive and vital. So amazing and fragile and strong, all wrapped up in one. Emotion choked me.

This tiny person is changing so fast I cannot keep up with her. There is an absolute baby-ness that will melt away without warning. I know—my son’s baby-ness disappeared when I wasn’t looking and I’m with him ALL the time! So where, oh where does it go? Already she has lost that newborn effect...and I do not know when it happened.

I intend to savor it while I can. She has a special sweet scent and silky-soft skin. Uncompromised delight adorns her face. Her voice still sounds so small and unfiltered. That little body which tries so very hard to squirm and learn how to move the way she wants it to. Itty bitty hands grasping, pulling and reaching. Her eyes are bright and alert, fascinated in the world around her. The newness of her life has not worn off…yet.

20 June 2005

battle of the cubes

Our refrigerator is located on an inside wall...on the other side resides the living room. There is no water line to the fridge, therefore we have no ice maker, much less filtered, chilled water at the touch of a button (we have to work for our cold filtered water: have filter on tap, fill container, place in fridge, pour when needed). It would be a long, difficult process to run a water line under the flooring to get that longed for icemaker. So, we work for our ice cubes, too...using aforementioned filtered water, fill ice cube trays, carefully place trays in freezer, wait hours and hours for ice cubes to freeze, somehow coerce the ice from their frozen nests and begin again. Or not.

See, we're not perfect with keeping up our dishes. Far from it. They often fill the sink mighty near capacity if not beyond. (Shame on me...but then, my husband has attempted to make that his chore...it helps sometimes, but the pile still grows.) This makes filling ice trays nearly impossible. And I have a thing about leaving them on the counter -- don't ask why. So, as I empty the ice tray, I turn, glance over my shoulder at a full sink and promptly replace the now empty tray into the freezer...sometimes I move it away from the full ones so as not to be accused of 'tricking' other family members. And then there are the times when I'm just in a hurry (crying baby, demanding little boy, a need to pee or the phone ringing...all at once). In these moments, I look over my shoulder at the not-so-full sink and say to myself,
"Nah...it can wait."

So, if you want a cold glass of water, well, just hope someone filled the water container the last time it was emptied...

09 June 2005

midnight rambling

Life goes by so incredibly fast. I am astounded that Miss C is now four months old. When did she stop being my little helpless newborn? Today she proudly found her toes. Oh, she looked so delighted every time her tiny hand wrapped around them. She is also fond of shopping...typical girl that she is! When at the store, she usually is beyond content to sit quietly, watching everything go by. I'm sure that contentment will soon change to "Mommy, can I get that?" as I hear from my son at least 20 times in one trip. haha!

This year has been a year of delights, trials, joy and tears. I feel like a wuss complaining once more of our many illnesses. In truth, since before Miss C was born, we've had two or three 'well' weeks, none of which were really consecutive. When I was so busy in early May, I should have shut up and been happy to be healthy. Instead we spiraled into yet another round of sickness. Miss C actually got chicken pox from my shingles. She also managed a ruptured ear drum without running a fever or indicating she was in any pain for more than five minutes one evening. We discovered the ear infection while sitting in the rash room ('in case' my shingles were still active, which we doubted) at the pediatician's office waiting for Little B's ear to be checked from his last infection. I was checking to see if her ear wax needed a good digging...it always balls up into a hard wad of dried up wax that I work hard to remove. I noticed it was wet and stinky. So, we had our pediatrician check her out. We were all surprised to find the infection. Yup, a too-easy little girl (I didn't know such a thing was possible!). I will have to watch her very close for signs of illness from here on out.

We had a few days of peace while everyone felt healthy...and I told someone that I was simply waiting for the next bomb to drop. Then, yesterday, my husband comes home from work and comments that he's had a rash on his arm all day. Why did I feel any surprise. We're still not actually sure what it is (and it looks exactly the same after 24 hours), but are watching it for potential poison ivy...shingles aren't supposed to be contagious except as chicken pox which he's had, yet it reminds me so acutely of my shingles (sans the pain which would be severe).

It's somewhat overhwelming to my tired mind tonight. We'll see what happens in the next few days.

In the meantime, I am happy that Miss C's therapy has continued to go extremely well. She is completely age appropriate with her arm and at this point, only those of us who know to watch for it can see any difference between left and right. She is so very much my miracle baby. Mom and I were talking about it today. I feel both my kids are miracles in their own way, and with Miss C, it's having watched the Lord battle for my baby's life. It was seconds from draining away at her birth, but His hand was on her. Some days these thoughts linger on the edge of my mind and today was one of those. Tears fought for freedom as I'd watch her and know that she is a double blessing. God certainly has a plan for this big-eyed little girl.

In spite of so many illnesses this year, I can truly say that I have much to be thankful for and am deeply blessed. My heart is full and overflowing.