girl time

Life has been so crazy here recently. Adjusting to the school schedule, starting the soccer season (okay, that was just last night, but you understand...)

And Ragweed is in bloom, therefore so are everyone's allergies. The "boys" seem to finally have it under control, and Miss C was teething simoultaneously with her congestion, but also seems to be bouncing back at last. Me? Oh, thanks for asking. Mine has settled into my chest and today I feel chilled and yet warm (oh yeah, wiped-out-exhausted-tired to boot). Not so good for a girl who is going on a trip on two days.

Yes, at long last I am going on a mini-vacation--I'm taking Miss C, so it doesn't count as a full one. I will be visiting my oldest, dearest friend for a lovely, long weekend of shopping. Feel those warm fuzzies? Oh yes, coffee, shopping, dining, pictures, shopping, and a bit more coffee and shopping. Those are the extent of our plans (with our toddler girls in tow, so it will truly be a GIRL trip). Ah, I forgot to mention the foot-pampering; we plan to scrub our feet and paint our toes as well. Luxury.

I met Bek in middle school. Our friendship stood the test of time and distance since I moved a mere three months after meeting her. We've written hundreds of letters (which morphed into emails over the years), sent many, many packages, and spent eons of time on the phone. Every few years, we'd have a chance to visit, and now we try to make that once a year. We have the same middle name, and now our daughters share one as well (their own, not ours). It happened to worked out that way, but it's just that much more fun. Our parents remained close friends, as well. Miss C and Melody are 6 weeks apart (no, this was not planned!), and so our trips will likely include them for years to come. I love the thought of a third generation of heart-friends, in spite of the distance. God blessed me the day I met this family, for sure.

And now, I must rest and pack. I bought an extra duffel bag for the trip home since shopping is a dominant activity this coming weekend. There is also a need to gather small, quiet toys for the almost two hour plan ride ahead...ah yes, we must endure trials in order to have that fun!

the bus

My son has had a lifelong dream. I mean, really. Since he first played with a toy bus, and we'd point them out on the road in passing, he has been entranced, wanting to ride one. Badly. At a young two years old, tears would ensue, tantrums would be thrown, and a little heart would bust open every time a big yellow bus drove by. There was simply nothing his mommy could do to put him on it. "Someday," I'd say, with abundant apologies and wondering if I'd be able to fulfill that vague promise. At that time, we did not know what school we would have him attend, or if a bus would be an option at all.

Of course, the desire to ride a bus brought a desire to go to school. So, as a little enticement toward potty training, I told him he had to go in the big potty before he was allowed to go to school ("Teachers are too busy to change a diaper!"). It was a little motivator, but he was still a good three years old with mommy expecting baby #2 before he potty trained. And he held me to my promise: "Mommy, when do I go to school?" He wanted to go to school so bad he could TASTE it. And so we signed him up for 3 year old preschool at a church one mile from the house. He was so happy.

Then he discovered he would not be riding a big yellow bus to school. Ouch. Only half the dream was coming true, and the best part was the part being left out. My mother had the genius solution that held like glue for the year and half he went to that school. He rode the little white school bus (that parked in our driveway). Now, my son has a frightening sense of drama and loves to pretend--given there is someone to participate with, of course. Daily, he would kiss me good-bye at the door (and later, his baby sister as well), then trot off to "the bus" to greet his "bus-driver" (one of my many hats, I suppose). After Miss C was born, he would routinely ask the "bus-driver" if his sister could please ride along to drop him off.

When we registered Little B for school and he learned he could ride a bus each morning, you could see the fulfillment of a dream in his eyes. Last week, he wanted to ride on his first day, but I was adamant about taking him to his room. I'm glad, too, as he looked so little and lost and I got to hug him an extra time before he walked into that new world; also, the teacher was by the door to take his picture, so took it of us together.

But, Friday morning--oh, he was so ready to ride that bus at last. There was glee shining from his eyes as he climbed the steps. And since we live on a street with a cul-de-sac, I saw them drive back by the other way, and caught a glimpse of his sweet face through a window, leaning forward, hanging on for dear life as the bus jerked him around on his seat, trying to absorb every nuance of this experience his entire soul had longed for. I hope one day he writes, and that he will write of that experience with words a five year old cannot come up with so I can see it through his eyes at last.

Today, just as happily, he trounced off to the bus, eager to start his journey into his day. I pray each day holds that joy for him. I long for a delightful year and only the average number of "off days" any child would have. I hope he enjoys his journey through life, starting with each morning. . .

"How was your first day?"

With a contented sigh and a soft voice, he replied, "It was great." And my heart slowed and my breathing became regular once more.

first day

Today, my baby boy left babyhood. He’s off to the great big world of Kindergarten. My heart has been pounding ferociously since kissing him goodbye at his classroom door. Not being a woman who cries easily, I blinked back the burning in my eyes and bit my lip when I walked away. (I didn’t see any other moms sobbing wildly into hankies or I might have lost it, however). Of course, the day is not over, so that burning may win yet.

My anxiety, however, goes deeper than just his first day in school. It’s bigger than his being a “big kid”, and wider than missing his sounds throughout the day. My heart races because I know he struggles with transition; he loathes touching gooey messes; he doesn’t cope when a room is too loud. Later, I’ll worry about his being bored by shapes and letters, for now I worry that he’ll get through the day without falling apart.

During Open House this week, I talked to the teacher and school nurse about his Sensory Processing Disorder. My heart was a bit lighter knowing they cared and would work at understanding—that they would be on his side. Throughout the day at home, we do something called the Wilbarger Protocol—basically a soft bristled surgical brush brushed on his skin combined with joint compressions to help stimulate the nerves and thereby triggering his body to respond a bit more positively to his surroundings. Truly, when he is falling apart sometimes, I realize I have forgotten to do his brushing. Once we take care of it, his whole being begins to relax. To my shame, I forgot in the newness of getting him out the door for school today. However, his therapist plans to teach the nurse how to do this procedure—he will not have to go all day without it during the stress of school.

The school nurse emailed me a little bit ago. What good it did my heart to know he was surviving his first day. She said he had been overwhelmed by how loud the class was, and had come to visit her where she gave him a back rub (my alternate suggestion since she does not yet know how to do brushing) and chatted a few minutes. It soothed him some and he went on back to class.

And so, my heart is hurting for him. How hard it is for a child—deer caught in headlights expression on their face—that first day of Kindergarten. How much harder that your environment is not going to be simple to adjust to. What must it feel like for a typical day to overwhelm your body in so many ways?

I know my heart will continue to beat a little faster until I hold my precious baby in my arms once more. For yes, he will always be my baby boy. That, no doubt, is when my eyes will leak a little more noticeably.

99 things about me

(since 100 just seemed a bit more than I could find time for!)


So, without further ado, my list as promised (please also reference #34 & 35)...

1. I am a poet.
2. Sometimes the poetry in me is like a dead leaf crumpled beneath one’s foot.
3. This can happen by the year (probably busy with kids or something else in life!).
4. I love reading—preferably Christian romance or suspense. Not poetry so much.
5. I cannot hear a rhythm. In a room of 100 people clapping (or even a dozen people kick-boxing), I will be the one who gets off the beat and stumbles around to get back. (My husband is very musical; go figure.)
6. I believe mommy-hood was my calling.
7. Some days I forget that I believe I was supposed to be a mommy and I stress out over it.
8. I wanted to get married in my upper twenties.
9. I got married when I was 21.
10. I have never regretted it for a single moment.
11. I am now 30.
12. I love to play Clue!
13. Scrabble is my other favorite game.
14. I have recently become addicted to Sudoku.
15. I like playing Nancy Drew on the computer (but what I really want is the Hardy Boys—where ARE they??).
16. I enjoy puzzles.
17. I like having the face of the watch on the inside of my wrist, not the top.
18. I hate to wear shoes and remove them immediately upon arriving home.
19. Thus, I usually have a large collection of shoes by the front door (see below #71).
20. Sometimes, I slip my shoes off under the table at a restaurant (shhh—don’t tell!).
21. I have endometriosis.
22. I love hot showers.
23. I burn my tongue on my coffee more frequently than I care to admit.
24. I love coffee with cream, no sugar.
25. I also love plain lattes.
26. Mostly, I drink my coffee with unsweetened soymilk since that’s now what we have in the fridge (and I almost prefer it now).
27. Dark chocolate is an important part of my diet.
28. I have adult-onset asthma.
29. My favorite flower is the stargazer lily.
30. I have a younger brother.
31. I have lots and lots of extended relatives; almost all of them are out of state.
32. I prefer to drive a manual transmission.
33. I get migraines.
34. I procrastinate.
35. Badly.
36. I have pierced ears—one hole per ear.
37. My dad made me wait until I was 12 to get them pierced.
38. Now, I think I’ll do the same with my daughter, even though I did not understand at the time.
39. I have to wear gold earrings or my skin gets irritated.
40. I have an Associates degree from a private junior college.
41. I went to college in the mountains (around here, they’re “mountains”, some people say they’re just “foothills”).
42. Now, I love the mountains; they are a personal retreat for me.
43. Someday, I’ll take more classes just because I want to.
44. I am trying to teach myself how to sew.
45. In the process, I am falling in love with it.
46. The marshmallows in sweet cereal make my skin crawl when I chew them. {shudder}
47. I got glasses in the fourth grade.
48. I have worn contacts off and on over the years.
49. When wearing contacts, I now (sometimes) add reading glasses to them to help me keep my place on a page.
50. My reading glasses are dark purple and sassy.
51. I have hazel eyes.
52. They change by the weather and what I wear.
53. They look teal when I cry.
54. My hair is dark, dark brown.
55. It is very straight.
56. It falls below my shoulders.
57. I often wear it up in a clip, bun-style.
58. I’m trying to grow it out as long as it was when I graduated from High School (at least 6 inches below my shoulder).
59. I kill plants regularly.
60. I have a new desire to understand plants and develop a “greener” thumb (I wonder how long this will last!).
61. It has taken me seven months to get this far in the list (see above, #34 & #35). Oh, the shame. . .
62. But, I blame the house selling/not selling/buying/moving/etc. Yeah, that’s what it is.
63. I occasionally have to re-read the list to see if I’ve already said something.
64. I love popcorn.
65. I’ve simplified this love and now make my own on the stove with olive oil and salt—no more microwave stuff for me, thank you very much (though I used to love it)!
66. I love lists.
67. I have lists of lists.
68. I must get a gleam in my eye when I want to make a list since my husband (mid-conversation) often asks, “Do we need to make a list?” He’s got impeccable timing since that would be the next request out of my mouth!
69. I use a “Mom’s Plan-It” with a weekly calendar and tear-out list to give myself an organized look.
70. That does not actually mean I am organized.
71. I always have “piles” of things—clothes to fold, papers to go through, books I’ve read/want to read/need to put away, more papers, coupons, shoes (reference #19) and the list goes on.
72. I use cloth diapers on my daughter much of the time.
73. I do that because I like to, not because of the thousand other reasons people list.
74. I wore braces for 3 ½ years.
75. My teeth were already straight; it was for TMJ.
76. I still struggle with TMJ problems.
77. Breakfast for dinner is one of my favorite meals.
78. In High School I worked at a consignment shop.
79. It was the first in the area, which started quite a trend in following years.
80. I liked that job a lot.
81. I was a dental assistant before having children.
82. I also helped manage their front office short-term.
83. Management seems to be what I like best.
84. I hate to exercise.
85. It bores me to no end.
86. I need to exercise.
87. I’m working on ways to motivate myself.
88. I did kickboxing for a little while, but now it’s too far away.
89. I liked it enough I’m thinking about buying a video to do it at home.
90. However, I don’t think I’d do it alone (based on personal experience).
91. I am notorious for returning library books late.
92. I am responsible for packing some library books while moving.
93. I cannot figure out where I packed them, and therefore have renewed them twice now (and they are due again).
94. I have a terrible time making decisions (“But what if. . .”).
95. My heart can be very vulnerable.
96. But it loves fully, wholly and without question.
97. I am deeply in love with my husband.
98. I love the Lord Jesus even more.
99. I think this should have been easier since I love making lists.

welcome

Since I was tired of the old template, and in honor of my new house, I've made a few changes here at "penny for my thoughts". So, welcome to my new online "home". Bear in mind, I am a woman, and entitled to change my mind should it need more redecorating or color! I've also added a new blog, with the intent of posting recipes and meal planning (truly just a self-motivator as this is not a strong point for me). I'm still toying with it--appearance, name and concept. It may turn into nothing, but feel free to stop by in the weeks ahead. In theory it will be geared toward healthier meals and treats, but what is life if not to live a little, right?

at last

It's official. We sold our old house today. I had a moment of doubt when, after signing all the papers, our attorney said, "Okay, we thought the wire would be here already for the loan, so hopefully it will come while I go finish up some copies." WHAT? It did finally make it, though. (I'm suspicious it was the FedEx guy who arrived, looking for someone to sign, while we all sat chatting.)

Who bought our house? Well, a second year college guy will be living there; his mother and her boyfriend (?) bought it for him with 20% cash down. And they had the gall to quibble over a cash settlement of $300 for repairs (we didn't want to pay any, they wanted more--claiming problems we had a very hard time believing; not to mention we had a new exterior paint job done as well as put a new roof on in recent months. Give me a BREAK!). Either way, our out-of-pocket was less than expected and it seems we will also get some cash back from escrow in a few weeks. That eases the way we scraped the bottom of the barrel for closing (it'd have been ever so much easier pre-double house payments!)

Okay, that's off my chest now, and the mortgage is off my back. Praise the Lord! :)

Think I'll go eat bake a few cookies now, to celebrate, of course!