09 February 2010

pity party

Just a little, tiny pity party, I promise.

The world of allergies just feels so lonely and isolated sometimes...parties are a pain because if you want to have cake and pizza, you must take your own. Being invited to dinner at someone's home, such as spontaneously on a Sunday afternoon, feels intrusive because I must first query every single ingredient that went into the meal, then determine which family members are safe to eat each thing, if any. (To expound, I am out of onion powder and wanted to buy more...but the Great Value "brand" at Wally World is unsafe due to cross contamination, as are many of their products...they did not have a name brand choice that I could find, so I still need onion powder until I go to another store; if my friends cooked with it, Miss C and possibly Baby J could not eat that food.) Dining out any place other than our handful of regular restaurants is a massive undertaking as we learn a new menu, talk to uninformed staff and question the chef multiple times on the different issues each person has. I can barely enjoy my food once that's over.

And it's not just food - it's cats and dogs, too. It keeps us from play dates and popping in at a friends' home, and ends regular visits when a new dog joins a family. I mean, I'm happy for them, but I feel so cheated and helpless to change things. Point in case: I rarely even visit my own parents because they have a dog that must be gated off into another room and their home is very small (he's technically my brother's, but he has no place for a large boxer). Because they have all hardwoods versus carpet, our once or twice a year visit is doable. But it's very difficult to keep young children away from a fascinating dog in close quarters, especially when one of the three kids is allowed in to play with the dog while the other two only watch. I'm just glad my mom and dad keep coming to see us often or we'd have serious withdrawals around here.

(Please don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about my parents, just using them for a neutral example.)

I find over time that I have to remind myself that nuts and soy and dairy and pets - and everything else on our lengthy allergy list - are very normal things for most people!

Okay, pity party over.
You may return to your regularly scheduled blog routine.


StephieAnne said...

Oh you poor thing! I'm so sorry......that sounds like quite a cross to bear as a mom.....

Hannah said...

I'm fine with your pity party. If I had your issues, I'd want to curl up in a tiny ball. You might feel that way about my issues (like my parents' many health issues, some terminal, that I don't blog about because they read it). But yours are more ... daily. And that isolation would be soooooo tough. You are an overcomer!

cjoy said...

Thanks ladies...you know how to make a girl feel better. :) (And yes, I have days when I definitely feel the need to curl up in a tiny ball!)

StephieAnne said...

I agree with Hannah - not to mention the simple celebratory nature of food - and the sadness of missing out. The daily (or even hour by hour) reminders.....ughhhhhh