12 January 2006

30

Earlier this week I crossed the bridge to the next decade of my life.
The view from here is quite the same as before and I do not feel remarkably different than I did last week, yet I sense differences in small, subtle ways compared to, say, a year or two ago.

For example:
* When did stress (mild or not so mild) begin to feel like it’s raising my blood pressure?
* What day did I suddenly look in on myself and see me the way I used to see a slightly older generation?
* In what manner did I begin to be a deeper level of honest about myself to myself? And not be afraid of it.
* How did I reach the point of lowering my expectations of others, thereby no longer having such strong disappointments?
* Where did my care of everyone remembering my birthday go? Now, it’s completely fine if the vast majority forget when it is (my family is still the exception).
* When did my mom start calling me about what medicine she should take, rather than the other way around?
* And why did my knees start aching exactly this week? I mean really—I’m sure I just strained them doing some inane thing, but I feel AGED every time I kneel down to pick up a child or tie a shoe, etc. Just rub it in, why don’tcha?


I am sure this list can go on and on, but that’s a simplified insight to my inner thinking this week.

And, in spite of cruddy days (entirely unrelated to my age or birthday), I feel content and happy inside. I am deeply blessed.

4 comments:

AfricaBleu said...

Happy birthday.

The knees only get worse.

Carbon said...

Yes, Welcome to the 30's club. Happy Birthday :)

I'm still working on "How did I reach the point of lowering my expectations of others, thereby no longer having such strong disappointments? ". For some people, I have to have NO expectations in order not to get disappointed. Sheesh.

SlushTurtle said...

Happy Birthday! The 30's are where all the cool people hang out!!!!

kim said...

happy 30th :) I enjoyed your entry!

I also loved reading about your new birds -- you will have to post a picture or two of the new little additions :) Hope the wedding went/goes well!!

Blessings<><