...and it continues...

I am tired beyond words. Yesterday, I never had a chance to make that coffee I desparately craved. Today, I made it before going to my doctor's appointment. I knew I'd never survive the day otherwise. My husband had to come home to stay with Little B as he was still running a fever and I'm a mom who does not care to expose illness to anyone else if possible. Just Little B having it is bad enough. This has been one of the harder rounds of being sick for our household. Part of it is juggling a new baby and trying not to spread germs...part of it is that anytime she is resting, he is not and vice versa...and a huge part is simply the redundant nights of waking on the hour.

Last night I involuntarily fell asleep around 9:30. My husband had Miss C downstairs and she fell asleep shortly before that; Little B, after 2 naps during the day, was finally getting a lower temperature, and fell asleep when I did (or I should say I fell asleep when he did...I'd just read to him and was snuggling him). I was startled awake when he cried out. And I was shocked to realize it was 11pm. My husband brought me my asthma medication that I take each night and I skipped washing my face and teeth...I never skip those. I conked back out and from then on, I was awake on the hour, practically, with an hour long, 2 kid session around 4am. I believe I got another 2 hours in a row then, but Little B was ready to get up at 7ish...the earlier sunrises are working against me these days. He was feeling a bit better, had eaten some apples and peanut butter during the 4am round, and though he didn't eat much else today, his fever stayed below the 101 mark versus the 102-104+ from yesterday.

My entire family is sleeping right now. Me? You may ask why I am not seizing the chance to sleep when I need it so desparately...I'm a crank-pot and by evening felt definitely down and in the dumps...I am headed to bed in a moment, but needed to do something for myself and enjoy a few minutes of awake time without one of the kids demanding my immediate attention...I am not handing out tissues or medicine, refilling a juice cup, offering popsicles or changing movies in the DVD...nor am I nursing or changing a diaper or outfit, refilling the wipes container or wiping up spit-up...

Never mind. Little B is crying out. My peace is gone. Then it will be a new diaper and hopefully I will get a bit of rest before dawn...