thankfulness - in the details

I am so thankful for Bananagrams (I won it over at Hannah's blog not long ago). My son and I have a blast with this game. Definitely a must for any Scrabble fan, which I am. Also, Miss C has taken some strong interests in sounding out randomly chosen words when she wanders in while Little B and I are playing it. She's anxious to learn to read and it simply whets her appetite. While looking through a homeschooling catalog, I saw Pairs and Pears which might just be up her alley. Fun stuff!

Oh...I cannot forget - a fixed-again toilet is also at the top of my gratitude today. We've bought new parts once before, then rigged those when they failed repeatedly. Needless to say, I was quite weary of reaching into the lid to make it flush.

And now, I'm going to brush my teeth and wash my face and try to convince myself that staying up late to finish reading The Actor and the Housewife is really not a good idea....

thankfulness - Miss C

Today I got out to the grocery store...alone. And then I came home, ate lunch, put Baby J down for his nap and left the boys in the dust; I took Miss C to go shopping. Target (yes, again) and Kid to Kid (2nd hand kid's stuff). She never whined, complained, felt annoyed...wait, is this sounding redundant?? She savored every drop of her soy hot chocolate from Starbucks, was thrilled with the clothes we found for her at Kid to Kid (and tried them on like a champ in a chilly dressing room), and when I thanked her for spending the afternoon with me shopping, she squealed in delight and thanked me for letting her come!

I'm so thankful for my Ladybug.
She is strong. Her allergies control her life in a thousand ways and while it can be disappointing, she is amazing through it all. In recent months we've been getting her alternative allergy elimination treatments that have made great strides in her immune system and health as well as healing some of the allergies...we definitely still have a ways to go, but during these last months we've seen so many changes in her. In the beginning, she was quiet, more shy than not, and almost "lethargic" - though not in a medically alarming way, just not very active. "Mousy" may well have been an apt description of her. As the weeks of treatments have progressed, she has become bolder and more chatty (and not just with us), her sparkly, glowing personality has emerged, something we'd only barely seen glimpses of before now. Her skin is prettier, her hair a bit thicker...generally more healthy. It has made me so thankful we found these treatments for her. Miss C's case is especially complex and has required several re-treatments. But she has clearly begun feeling better. And with that, we have so much more of our little girl to enjoy.

Miss C has a gorgeous singing voice (she SO did not get that from me...but her daddy can sing with the best!), her big brown eyes sparkle with humor and can I just say that still waters run deep? The observations this girl can point out startle me sometimes.

She totally made my day today. And my heart is full and overflowing with thanks for her!

thankfulness -

I slacked - well, my computer's operating system crashed, so I kinda couldn't get online for posting my thankfulness posts. That made me sad. I was so looking forward to them.

However, it's back and functioning and I'm going to do a quick summary of thankfulness for all the days I missed...can't back down on what I'd planned, ya know?


Sunday
I woke up being thankful for my husband's extra hours at work. Since over a year ago his job has provided a lot of pay cuts, lay offs, and hour cuts. Things are no longer just tight around here...they're cutting off the circulation. HOWEVER. He does have a job still. And the past two weeks he was given opportunity to work a lot of extra hours. Now, when I say a lot of extra hours, I mean he worked over 70 hours in one week. He pulled an all-nighter. He would come home long after I was able to stay awake to see him. The kids and I just kissed him goodbye again each morning - if he wasn't already gone when we woke. Truly, it was a really bad week around here. But those hours were so desperately needed that I couldn't be upset about them. Yes, my thankfulness had some low moments, but overall, thankfulness won. And, as of Wednesday, he's back to working a bit more normal of a schedule, though there's a possibility of another rush after Thanksgiving.



Monday
I wasn't feeling very thankful on Monday. Or Tuesday. And only a little bit on Wednesday. Though really it seems that stretched much further than a few days; I can't remember any more. I was struggling very hard with meltdowns (mine and not mine), migraines (just mine...the multi-day kind), missing my husband, not being able to use my computer (just the icing on top, really)....it was one of "those." And in the midst of the fog I was barely surviving in, I kept thinking about my thankfulness posts and how I would need to be able to write something for those days. Because I was determined to be thankful in spite of it all. And so I am. I am so, so, SO thankful that I am not a single mom. Truly. And, I am thankful that in those days I still have Someone supplying me with mercy and grace. Because boy-howdy, I NEEDED it. Too, I was thankful my mom and dad came down to be part of that mercy and grace through my evening. It eased the burdens so much.


Tuesday
In spite of my abundance of grumpiness, this is the day we discovered that the only cost for repairing my laptop was the purchase of an external hard drive. Woohoo! Some networking guys at my husband's office had said they'd try to just restart the operating system and see if that helped...it did! I'm thankful for the lack of repair cost and the new external hard drive which we hope will keep the laptop running a bit easier. That's big in our world. My husband has picked up some extra income testing software and needs the laptop for it. A new laptop would not have been easy to come by right now!


Wednesday
The tears continued, the grumps were in full swing (remember, not all of it stemmed from me), and I just plum wanted out. But, in leaving the house for any errands just draws out the complaints and gripes and overwhelmed-ness that my oldest has been mired in. Stores and Little B have never, ever meshed well. It's been better as he's gotten older, but recently we're experiencing some set-backs (unless we are spending all our time on the Lego aisle...unfortunately, that does not feed us or brush our teeth, or diaper Baby J....you get the idea). So, my efforts to leave the house weren't exactly...positive.

However - by the time John got home, I was thankful for several reasons:
1. On this day my husband did not have to work late. He didn't get home in time for dinner, but he did get home before bedtime for the kids! Definitely a step in the right direction and a strong lift in attitude began for the little people (and consequently, me!).
2. He spent the day downtown in an all-day meeting. When we'd have liked for him to head home, he had to go to the office to chat it up with his boss...well, talk shop. Finally, he headed home. Five minutes into his drive (we were chatting on the phone in my dire need for adult contact and most especially my need to have a real conversation with my love - we'd only spoken in passing or on small meal breaks for too long), he realized he'd forgotten my laptop - it was fixed! So, he turned around to get it.
3. While there, his boss stopped him - he wanted to thank John for his work. And give him a hundred dollars (it was his own money - not company money). Yeah, the tears leaked then. The instructions that went with it were, "Take your wife out to eat." We got take out Mexican since neither of us had eaten yet, but hope to have a time for just the two of us soon!


Thursday
Last night I went out with my mom to Toys R Us...I think it's just as exciting as when I was a kid looking at those toys in awe! haha! I stopped by WalMart for some cold meds for Little B. And then my mom got me dinner at Captain D's. I want you to notice that the only thing I did for a couple of hours was go to stores and talk to another adult (yes, I talked about my kids, and shopped for them, but they weren't there begging, "annoying", whining, crying or dying to go home). I cherished that time. I needed that time. I was and still am immensely thankful for that time!!


Friday
Ah, today. It's here at last. Today I am thankful that I made the decision to take Fridays off from homeschooling (consequently, we'll school year-round, but I love this plan!). I am thankful that the attitudes and meltdowns of a few days ago are beginning to balance out (we're pretty sure that the change in Daddy's hours were wreaking havoc with more than just mommy). I'm thankful for the sweet little lovey kisses Baby J is SO good about sharing with me. I'm thankful the sun is out, the house was a deliciously cold 64 degrees when I woke up, that Little B only needed a few threats to get his chores done and that tomorrow is Saturday.

And a little bonus: I'm thankful to you for reading all the way down here. Even if you skimmed or skipped to get here. Hopefully, the computer will continue to cooperate and I will not have nearly a week's worth next time!

thankfulness - in everything

Last night I spilled my latte. I was not, NOT happy. In fact, I confess to spilling a few tears after I heard the last of the latte gurgle into the van's dark depths.

To understand this fully you must understand the way my mind works. As you likely can't forget since I talk about it all the time, my kids have allergies galore -the oldest two to dairy, Miss C especially. We have gotten her some treatments that have decreased the severity of her reactions. However. You have to realize the ingrained, gut reaction to any type of cow-by-product spilling or smearing or melting or dripping or cross-contaminating makes my heart pound and my whole being kick into gear - "How can I best clean this up???"

No, my house is far from tidy. Not that kind of cleaning. Just in case you thought I was a clean-a-holic, 'cause I'm SO not.

Since my husband has had a solid week of late nights and will again be working Sunday through Friday super late next week (deadlines upon deadlines that I am actually very thankful for), I decided that to ease my single-parent bedtime routine a little, I'd get everyone ready except for brushing their teeth and take them out for hot chocolate - except Baby J, who I planned to have fall asleep on the drive. He cooperated until we got home.

My son gleefully chugged his entire kid-sized-soy-hot-chocolate before we were hardly out of the parking lot. My daughter has the rest of hers in the fridge to be heated again tomorrow. Go figure. Me...well, I went for a Tall decaf latte. I likenoLOVE plain lattes. With dairy milk. (Soy lattes are gross. I tried. Once.) And I so rarely get them that I was all in a dither over it. But, the hole in the lid was too small to let in air so I could barely get any drink to my mouth. I had decided to wait and make the hole bigger at home. But along the way, I heard the cup call my name and opted for one more effort at a sip - at which time the lid must have popped off because it never made it to my mouth. Rather I heard my van take a deep drink of my latte in the dark of night when I could not see to rescue it.

I pulled over into an empty turn lane but by then the cup had about two drops left. I thought at that moment that I was SO NOT THANKFUL even though it was probably God's way of telling me I wasn't really supposed to order it, that I was just being a glutton. And my heart was racing because I'd just spilled a dairy beverage all over (the mess that is) the front of my van. Technically, it landed in a canvas bag of stuff that was hung between the seatbelts...and all over a slew of papers...and soaked into the carpet. I really didn't feel thankful, except maybe for the roll of toilet paper (I had it in there for our extended colds - better than Kleenex any day!) because it seemed to soak up a good bit of dairy-infested latte.

And that is where my thankfulness began.

"In everything give thanks..." (I Thessolonians 5:18a)

I had to think on it a bit. But I did find things to be thankful for in my lost latte. I was thankful for only ordering the Tall. My preferred Grande would have cost more, spilled way more and caused more dairy-stress. I was also thankful that Baby J didn't wake up until I came IN the house from cleaning up (he was standing at the front door watching me). And, as I cleaned I came across the "foot" to the baby swing I just gave someone; I felt bad giving it to her when I realized that was missing! Besides, a little prompting to clean out the van is always something to be thankful for, right?!

Mostly, I'm thankful that in spite of my spilled latte, it was a pleasant outing with my kids. And, I had an opportunity to say, "Thank you Lord for the spilled latte..."

thankfulness - homeschooling

As I've mentioned before, we decided to homeschool Little B at the end of second grade. I had never, ever considered it before because I was sure I could not handle it. But by this time I could no longer handle sending him to school each day, only to see him come home in a deep funk full of frustration and anger. Here is a bit of what led up to such a big decision for us:

My son is very sensitive and fairly "high needs." He's also incredibly intelligent. He struggles with the atmosphere a classroom provides and that resulted in a whole lot of difficult days. The first day after spring break probably was pretty typical for him. Most likely, by the time he was asked to do his least favorite assignment ever - log about a book he'd read - he had been picked on and bullied; survived lunch with the intense loudness that accompanies any typical lunchroom, but is especially overwhelming to him; no doubt been reminded to stay on task several times; and was feeling as though he was worthless and couldn't do anything right. His teacher was known to bend over backwards to help him, so she was never the source of his problems, though he didn't understand that at the time.

That is only a tiny taste of what led up to the point in his day when he once again fell apart. I know this sound ridiculous to some, like a lack of discipline to others. But for him, the world truly came crashing down at that moment. That assignment pushed him over the edge and he could no longer handle much of anything after the stressors he'd worked around and tried to cope with all day. Simply put, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

And so on this day of all days, Little B was yelling at his teacher that he had an escape plan if she wouldn't listen. Now, she did listen - every single day - but logging wasn't something she could waive just for him. I understand that. In Little B's mind, though, he just couldn't handle another day of forced writing about something that was already written down in the book (he thinks that if you want to know, you should read the book...I understand that, too). And he escaped by trying to run away from school.

Why? Because all he wanted was to go home to his bed, away from the source of his stress, and calm down. That spoke so loudly to me. And during the week of suspension that ensued, I enforced the discipline they chose, but at the same time we began talking about homeschooling. The following Monday he was allowed to go back to school, but we withdrew him instead. And I have never looked back.

I am thankful for a thousand things in this. I'm thankful his class had a door to the outside that tempted him because it made me stop and listen really carefully to how I could meet his needs.

I'm thankful I no longer feel building anxiety as I check my email 5-10 times a day wondering if his teacher has emailed me to let me know of his latest struggle in class (she did that at my request).

I'm thankful that though I must toe the line with him particularly on hard days, a hard day homeschooling (and we have them in spades, believe me) simply doesn't compare to even an average day in public school. In fact, on the hardest days of all, I am more deeply thankful that he is at home with me versus sitting embarrassed and angry at himself in front of 17 other kids and other grown ups.

I'm thankful for:

the increase in flexibility,

the decrease in stress,

the increase in time with my son,

the decrease in time spent on school assignments,

the increase in enjoyment of learning.

thankfulness - my husband

I have the most amazing husband.
My thankfulness for him is deep and wide and overflowing.
My words to express them are not even close to adequate.

When he married me, I had health problems that were yet to be discovered - but before our first wedding anniversary, I'd had surgery and been put on medications that caused drug-induced menopause for 6 months or more. Oh, my friends...no woman should go through such a thing twice, and certainly not at 22 years old! And no man should have to live through that twice -certainly not at 22 years old!! What a time that was. He was a college student and working full time, I was working and going through hormone changes that you cannot begin to fathom yet. At the end of those months, we laughingly said we'd survive anything if we made it through menopause in the first year of marriage.

We've learned together to choose the right perspective on so many issues over the years. We have not had an easy life by any standard. Half our marriage so far, he was working on his degree. We started having kids before he graduated. Food allergies dominate meal times. Special needs of varying degrees sprinkle through the house, some bigger than others. Issues I won't even go into dominate our lives right now. But, you know what? They eventually fall into place and we just move on, figuring it out, working through it, and being glad we're together during it all.

I would not trade this man or the life we have together for anyone in the world. He lights up my days. I am happier when he comes home. I want to grow old with him. He's the best kisser on earth. He makes me laugh. He laughs with me. I am completely myself with him. He works so hard to care for all of us. He even does the dishes for me when I get too far behind (without griping, too).

And he wanted to marry ME! I don't understand that...but I sure won't challenge him on it, either. I'm SO thankful for my husband.

thankfulness

I've been seeing a lot of "thankful" postings on facebook this week. Several people are doing a thankful post every day until Thanksgiving, which I think is great. But, I'm going to do a thankful blog every day until Thanksgiving. My heart is full to overflowing in so many ways, even on the hardest days of all. So, I can't imagine that this will be a difficult task in the least. Indeed, it makes me sad that someone could even think they'd run out of things to be thankful for.

I had a little mental list of the order in which I wanted to state my thankfulness, but in truth I should share my heart each day, not have a hierarchy of thanks.

So, since today is Veteran's Day, I will start by saying I'm thankful for those who have served in our military and fought for our freedom. It is far from an easy job and no doubt few receive the credit truly due them for their service. I am surrounded by those who serve our country and often don't give enough consideration to what they do for me. I live this life the way I do because of them. There is much to be thankful for in that simple fact.

Today, I have planned a small lesson for Little B about Veteran's Day. He just sat down as I typed this and noticed some of the papers at his counter-top "desk" and began talking about Veteran's Day - he told me that today is for celebrating and honoring the people who used to and do work in the military. The music teacher at his school the past few years was a veteran and each year he spent his class time on Veteran's Day talking about his service. I'm so glad he did - it clearly instilled a respect in my son for our military.

I know I am surrounded by people in my life who serve or have served our country - I am honored to know them and thankful for them to the core of my being. They protect our freedom for so many things, not the least of these is the freedom to openly love and worship my Lord.