20 November 2009

thankfulness -

I slacked - well, my computer's operating system crashed, so I kinda couldn't get online for posting my thankfulness posts. That made me sad. I was so looking forward to them.

However, it's back and functioning and I'm going to do a quick summary of thankfulness for all the days I missed...can't back down on what I'd planned, ya know?

I woke up being thankful for my husband's extra hours at work. Since over a year ago his job has provided a lot of pay cuts, lay offs, and hour cuts. Things are no longer just tight around here...they're cutting off the circulation. HOWEVER. He does have a job still. And the past two weeks he was given opportunity to work a lot of extra hours. Now, when I say a lot of extra hours, I mean he worked over 70 hours in one week. He pulled an all-nighter. He would come home long after I was able to stay awake to see him. The kids and I just kissed him goodbye again each morning - if he wasn't already gone when we woke. Truly, it was a really bad week around here. But those hours were so desperately needed that I couldn't be upset about them. Yes, my thankfulness had some low moments, but overall, thankfulness won. And, as of Wednesday, he's back to working a bit more normal of a schedule, though there's a possibility of another rush after Thanksgiving.

I wasn't feeling very thankful on Monday. Or Tuesday. And only a little bit on Wednesday. Though really it seems that stretched much further than a few days; I can't remember any more. I was struggling very hard with meltdowns (mine and not mine), migraines (just mine...the multi-day kind), missing my husband, not being able to use my computer (just the icing on top, really)....it was one of "those." And in the midst of the fog I was barely surviving in, I kept thinking about my thankfulness posts and how I would need to be able to write something for those days. Because I was determined to be thankful in spite of it all. And so I am. I am so, so, SO thankful that I am not a single mom. Truly. And, I am thankful that in those days I still have Someone supplying me with mercy and grace. Because boy-howdy, I NEEDED it. Too, I was thankful my mom and dad came down to be part of that mercy and grace through my evening. It eased the burdens so much.

In spite of my abundance of grumpiness, this is the day we discovered that the only cost for repairing my laptop was the purchase of an external hard drive. Woohoo! Some networking guys at my husband's office had said they'd try to just restart the operating system and see if that helped...it did! I'm thankful for the lack of repair cost and the new external hard drive which we hope will keep the laptop running a bit easier. That's big in our world. My husband has picked up some extra income testing software and needs the laptop for it. A new laptop would not have been easy to come by right now!

The tears continued, the grumps were in full swing (remember, not all of it stemmed from me), and I just plum wanted out. But, in leaving the house for any errands just draws out the complaints and gripes and overwhelmed-ness that my oldest has been mired in. Stores and Little B have never, ever meshed well. It's been better as he's gotten older, but recently we're experiencing some set-backs (unless we are spending all our time on the Lego aisle...unfortunately, that does not feed us or brush our teeth, or diaper Baby J....you get the idea). So, my efforts to leave the house weren't exactly...positive.

However - by the time John got home, I was thankful for several reasons:
1. On this day my husband did not have to work late. He didn't get home in time for dinner, but he did get home before bedtime for the kids! Definitely a step in the right direction and a strong lift in attitude began for the little people (and consequently, me!).
2. He spent the day downtown in an all-day meeting. When we'd have liked for him to head home, he had to go to the office to chat it up with his boss...well, talk shop. Finally, he headed home. Five minutes into his drive (we were chatting on the phone in my dire need for adult contact and most especially my need to have a real conversation with my love - we'd only spoken in passing or on small meal breaks for too long), he realized he'd forgotten my laptop - it was fixed! So, he turned around to get it.
3. While there, his boss stopped him - he wanted to thank John for his work. And give him a hundred dollars (it was his own money - not company money). Yeah, the tears leaked then. The instructions that went with it were, "Take your wife out to eat." We got take out Mexican since neither of us had eaten yet, but hope to have a time for just the two of us soon!

Last night I went out with my mom to Toys R Us...I think it's just as exciting as when I was a kid looking at those toys in awe! haha! I stopped by WalMart for some cold meds for Little B. And then my mom got me dinner at Captain D's. I want you to notice that the only thing I did for a couple of hours was go to stores and talk to another adult (yes, I talked about my kids, and shopped for them, but they weren't there begging, "annoying", whining, crying or dying to go home). I cherished that time. I needed that time. I was and still am immensely thankful for that time!!

Ah, today. It's here at last. Today I am thankful that I made the decision to take Fridays off from homeschooling (consequently, we'll school year-round, but I love this plan!). I am thankful that the attitudes and meltdowns of a few days ago are beginning to balance out (we're pretty sure that the change in Daddy's hours were wreaking havoc with more than just mommy). I'm thankful for the sweet little lovey kisses Baby J is SO good about sharing with me. I'm thankful the sun is out, the house was a deliciously cold 64 degrees when I woke up, that Little B only needed a few threats to get his chores done and that tomorrow is Saturday.

And a little bonus: I'm thankful to you for reading all the way down here. Even if you skimmed or skipped to get here. Hopefully, the computer will continue to cooperate and I will not have nearly a week's worth next time!

1 comment:

Hannah said...

Wow. You had QUITE a week, my dear. It sounds awful. And yet, you manage to be thankful about something, every single day, no matter how desperate you were to find that treasure. Praise the Lord for His resurrection life!

And that was really cool of John's boss. :-)