grace

We took a loooong time to name Bitsy. As in we were down to the final weeks and I wanted to call her Lizzie Grace and my husband wanted to call her Samantha Joy and we were stuck at an impasse. (She is neither, as most of you probably know.) I wanted to name her Grace because we had been through so much last year and my heart felt that we were headed into a year of grace.

As a sweet song I know says, "Grace is simply God Himself, to be our enjoyment" - I am experiencing the enjoyment of my Lord and of my family to depths I have not in a long time. I see and feel His grace in the little things, the big things, the important things, and the insignificant things. I feel completely covered, like an annointing oil poured out upon us, grace has simply poured out over our family.

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I wrote this back in April....and never finished tweaking it to post...that's how busy my life is right now! I have edited and deleted from the above because things keep moving on, the details get lost in time, and things don't make sense when the baby has grown and isn't the age I referenced any more - but what I said is true.

I will be painfully honest, though, and tell you that while I am still experiencing much grace, I am in a hard place personally right now as well. On Sunday we were singing a hymn that touched me deeply....part of the second verse is goes like this:

"What He is: He's the river.
He's the mighty flowing river.
He waters me in a desert land.
He's my hiding place. . ."

This is my exact my experience right now. I have to admit that He feels a bit more like a trickle or small stream much of the day, but He is watering me in my desert land right now. With Himself, with His grace. I told my mom today that sometimes when I pray, I cannot even find words, I simply feel. And yet He is hiding me and His grace still pours over me....