decisions
I have been in the throes of making a major decision the past few weeks. A decision that I'd not had time to give much thought to until recently. And it's huge for me.
As anyone who has been reading my blog very long might know, I'm an advocate of all-natural, drug-free birth. Organic, so to speak. ;D I believe in the very essence of it, every reason given for it, and every good thing it is and does for the baby being born. I believe that almost any woman willing to take the time to learn how she can best work with her body and educate herself on the many aspects of childbirth is capable of doing this. Yes, there are circumstances that require a different approach, but they should not and are not really the majority. They are the exception to the rule.
And I have become that exception to the rule, deciding to go with a cesarean for my little girl's safety. My heart is saddened that I won't have one last natural birth. But to be fair, my births never went the way they "should" go - and as history has proven, this came at a high price once. Almost too high. It was only after my 3rd baby was born that I realized all three of my births had resulted in shoulder dystocia - the very reason that Miss C suffered such traumatic injury at her birth.
When I found out I was pregnant, I had immense peace. God has a plan for this little one and even knows how her birth will go. So I did not give it much thought at the time. Then we moved and we have had so much else going on for the past few months that her birth was far removed from my mind. Until I hit my third trimester an realized that the time had come to give it serious thought. And immediately I had a check within - a strong sense that I had decisions to make.
Yesterday I spoke with an old friend of the family - who used to be a Labor & Delivery nurse. She is also a Christian. And as soon as I told her I had been feeling a check about this birth, she reminded me that as a Christian this is how the Lord speaks, and as a mom I know my body and I know to listen to it. She told me that in that one sentence she felt I needed to have a cesarean. And my heart was completely at peace about it for the first time. I was leaning that way anyhow, but it was a confirmation for me.
A difficult decision for me, but one that was right. And God will be with me and my baby in this birth as with my other births.
3 comments:
I'm glad to hear you've made a decision and are at peace with it. I know it's not what you wanted, but it will ensure Bitsy Joy arrives safely. Keep me posted on the date and details - and call my parents if you need something - they're just around the corner!
Ah, so good not to let anything, even the best of things, become an idol. I often wonder, if I were to have another, whether I'd be so gung ho about homebirth, natural birth, etc. It seemed so important before but now I'm not as sure. I guess there's something to be said for perspective on what's most important.
You're almost there, right? Can't wait for a birth announcement!
I love it when God gives us a clear sense of peace in an area of our life where it's obviously ONLY HIM that's providing it, otherwise, the peace would be evasive.
Thank you for sharing this story with us as it just proves that sometimes what we feel so strongly about what would be best for us, might not indeed be what God has in store.
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