stay tuned!!

Tomorrow morning is the big day - Little Miss Bitsy will be in our arms, and I am so happy. I cannot wait.

My peace about the c-section has never wavered. It is so clearly God's plan this time, and even my nerves are not nearly as rattled about it as I expected. I'm sure I will have moments of frustration as I heal - I know myself too well to believe otherwise - but I am very much at peace still.

The other peace I have is beginning to make me a tiny bit emotional. I am getting my tubes tied tomorrow morning after Bitsy is born. Moments ago I was feeling her wiggle and kick, rubbing her feet through my belly...and realizing that this is the very last day I will ever be pregnant, holding a life inside of me. It makes me nostalgic and a little sad, but at the same time I know I'm done. I cannot have any more babies - it's too hard, the older I get. It's many other things as well, but I'll leave it at that. So, I'm not exactly excited about the tubal but I am so peaceful.

And TOMORROW I will have my sweet girl.
I want to tell you of her name. But I have not decided if I want to post it on my blog for all the world - I still feel the need to hold some semblence of privacy in this area. Perhaps I will send emails to any of you I have one for. And you're welocme to email and ask me if you want to know and are a regular reader but don't think I have your email. It took us a very, very long time to name her. And she only got a middle name the weekend after Thanksgiving. But we love her name so much and I would be thrilled to share it with you!

So, stay tuned my friends - I want to post pictures of her sweet self this week (while I sit abed in the hospital, I hope!).


(PS - I've read many of your blogs but I have not commented much as this has just been a hectic year for us. Also, I have fought exhaustion and insomnia for the past month. So I've not really been around, and I'm sure adding a 4th child to this crazy household will keep me busier than I can imagine, but you are NOT forgotten!)

out of the mouths of babes

The other night when I was dropping Miss C off at AWANAS, my daughter's leader pulled me aside to tell me a short story:

The previous week during prayer request time, Miss C wanted to pray for her mommy because "she is having a baby in December and it's not coming out the bottom way."

Just lovely. The leader laughed and said that they just moved quickly on to the praying. I'll take all the prayer I can get. But that wasn't where I expected it to come from. . .

writing things

Writing of any kind is a pain in our homeschool world. And so I've been trying to find some new ways to approach it and keep it from being quite so painful.

I have found some free samples at Currclick (I get an email every week from them that tipped me off) that offer work with penmanship, specifically the Thanksgiving Cursive CopyBook - not the creative writing, but writing nonetheless. Little B is still in the learning curve with cursive, though not doing too badly. I want to find a way to encourage him to improve it without totally driving him crazy. And so this particular method seems to please him because first he traces a couple of sentences then writes it on his own. And it's only a a few lines, not what feels like an overwhelming amount of writing - though in my book he has easily gotten enough practice to make it worthwhile. If you open it and scroll through, you'll see blank pages as well as the copywork. I'm only printing the ones where he copies what he's traced.

From this same site, I also found similar work in these: Human Body Sample (it's fascinating and well done and I'm considering buying all three volumes (.50 each or $1.50 together), not just sticking to the sample....be aware they discuss reproduction at the end of this sample, should you try it....always a good head's up! ;D ). Fifty States Copywork is quite similar and also can be purchased in a bundle or as several separate volumes (links on that page).

But then there is creative writing. Something I love but am not good at and hardly know how to culture because Little B gets so frustrated or doesn't know what to write or is bored with the things we find (very hard to motivate a 9 year old boy at times, yet when wants to, he is darn good at it!). Until this. Granted, we're just finishing the first week (okay, I am not done, he is...the teacher has to participate...which is good for me!), but I'm pleased. And Little B is pleased so far. We'll see how it goes, but he's excited about it and looking forward to it. As am I.

i promised

I have promised for months now to post some belly pictures. So here you go; enjoy these while I'm too tired to think of anything else to post this weekend....

decisions

I have been in the throes of making a major decision the past few weeks. A decision that I'd not had time to give much thought to until recently. And it's huge for me.

As anyone who has been reading my blog very long might know, I'm an advocate of all-natural, drug-free birth. Organic, so to speak. ;D I believe in the very essence of it, every reason given for it, and every good thing it is and does for the baby being born. I believe that almost any woman willing to take the time to learn how she can best work with her body and educate herself on the many aspects of childbirth is capable of doing this. Yes, there are circumstances that require a different approach, but they should not and are not really the majority. They are the exception to the rule.

And I have become that exception to the rule, deciding to go with a cesarean for my little girl's safety. My heart is saddened that I won't have one last natural birth. But to be fair, my births never went the way they "should" go - and as history has proven, this came at a high price once. Almost too high. It was only after my 3rd baby was born that I realized all three of my births had resulted in shoulder dystocia - the very reason that Miss C suffered such traumatic injury at her birth.

When I found out I was pregnant, I had immense peace. God has a plan for this little one and even knows how her birth will go. So I did not give it much thought at the time. Then we moved and we have had so much else going on for the past few months that her birth was far removed from my mind. Until I hit my third trimester an realized that the time had come to give it serious thought. And immediately I had a check within - a strong sense that I had decisions to make.

Yesterday I spoke with an old friend of the family - who used to be a Labor & Delivery nurse. She is also a Christian. And as soon as I told her I had been feeling a check about this birth, she reminded me that as a Christian this is how the Lord speaks, and as a mom I know my body and I know to listen to it. She told me that in that one sentence she felt I needed to have a cesarean. And my heart was completely at peace about it for the first time. I was leaning that way anyhow, but it was a confirmation for me.

A difficult decision for me, but one that was right. And God will be with me and my baby in this birth as with my other births.

keeping up with the jones'

It appears that my method of keeping current with all my favorite blog reads appears to be shutting down at the end of the month (that would be Bloglines, so if I'm mistaken, feel free to correct me). I have the cream of the crop listed on a sidebar of my own blog, but there are more that I like to access - food blogs, home school blogs, blogs that rarely post (even more rarely than me!), etc.

I want to know: how do you keep up with the blogs you read? I've seen a couple options, but I want to know what you like and why . . . do tell!

just beachy

(Picture disclaimer: I've got more pictures on my camera phone but uploading those is not quite so simple; and I was apparently the main photographer, therefore you are denied the opportunity to see a 3rd trimester belly in a swimsuit. So there.)

We had our first true vacation in over three years this past weekend. We indulged in four nights at the beach - the hotel was clearly a bit older, had horribly lumpy mattresses (hello sciatica that was almost all gone!), one 5am little roach critter that I chose to ignore once he was dead and gone, and not so great free continental breakfasts (canned juice and so-so bagels, though the brand of blueberry muffins they served were dairy- and nut-free, making for two superbly happy kids, so that redeemed itself at least a bit); BUT it was clean, it had amazingly wonderful hot showers (I think this is my favoritest thing about hotels in general - their massive amount of scalding hot water), and a kitchenette (a specific need for us since we didn't need nor want the stress of eating out every meal with so many kids and all the allergies).

And tying for first place with the hot water heater (okay, maybe the hot water is second, but only by a hair) - we were beachfront. NO sand in the van. Just in the swimsuits (ick). We had a little balcony overlooking the pool and ocean, we had enough beds for all of us, and we just went down and walked out onto the sand each day. That made my beach experience exponentially better than any other I've had. (Whereas I loved going up to the room to get something I forgot with no worries, frustrations, or tears...as well as simply arriving at the beach when you get to the back of the building you're in.) Conversely, I loathe loading a car with sandy toys and towels and bodies to driv a mere mile or two to the hotel. Of course, it's a little hard to get sand in the van when the van is not with you anyway.....

We left several hours late for our trip (10pm instead of 6 or 7pm as we'd planned). Which put us arriving at our destination just after 4am. Lots of coffee and Grandparents who came to play with the kids while I packed and napped made all the difference in the world that day. (Or I might have given up trying to go on vacation altogether.) As we arrived in town, a mere 15 minutes from the hotel, I turned a corner and suddenly the check engine light came on and the transmission would not find the right gear. It took at least 20 minutes, maybe more, to arrive. The engine never stopped making it's horrible revving sound.

After a few hours of sleep and once the kids were awake and fed, we took them down to the sand for a few minutes - sans swimsuits because John desperately needed to find a mechanic. As pregnant as I amI was NOT chasing kids on the beach. No way no how. Once we got back into the room I implemented the endless handheld games and TV and coloring rule. Which is still not as fun as the beach you can see outside your window. Such a mean mommy. Who was stressed out because the first mechanic sent him to Mr. Transmission who said we definitely needed the transmission rebuilt pronto. And it would not be ready until Tuesday (we were set to return home early Monday morning . . . ha! It was almost the end of business on Tuesday before they were done). So, we arranged to stay an extra day - nothing like the extended vacation. And there were absolutely NO rental cars available in the city, even at the airport. Thankfully, they were able to dig up a loaner for us - nothing like a tight squeeze in the back seat for the kids, but they were champs. And at least we didn't have a lot of driving to do. The lack of rental cost was a real blessing, though.

And I must say that in all of it, I saw God's hand: we broke down arriving in town, not halfway, and not before the trip. We got to stay an extra day. He knew all along that this was going to happen. And how much it would cost. He even pushed us to on the trip in the first place - and do it where we didn't have to drive to the ocean each day! No, I have no doubt His hand was upon us during the entire experience. (In spite of the hormonal stress and tears of the third trimester.)

I guess that we won't need that transmission fluid changed before the end of the year like I'd been told when I had the car checked out two days before the trip. . .